LETTING GO OF OUR CAREER IDENTITY (Part 3 Voluntarily-Retirement)

LETTING GO OF OUR CAREER IDENTITY (Part 3 Voluntarily-Retirement)

LETTING GO OF OUR CAREER IDENTITY

(Part 3 Voluntarily-Retirement)

 

“Letting Go means to entrust into the hands of the Lord, to surrender control of, to relinquish power over, and to trust the Lord with.” Only in Letting Go will our minds, emotions, wills, find rest and cease to struggle.

 

We have been on a wonderful journey since January examining the people and things in our lives we must entrust into the “Perfect Hands” of our Lord. As we recall, we had to trust Him with: our past, relationships, children (His), dreams, career identity-involuntary (layoff, illness, forced retirement, or some circumstance we had no control of) and career identity–voluntary (children leaving the nest). Even though there are other things and situations we are constantly letting go of, today, our journey ends here with “Letting Go” of our career identityvoluntarily due to retirement.

 

I know you have seen those commercials on television where the gray-haired empty nesters sit with their financial advisor holding hands and he gives them a nod that everything is in order financially for them to retire and sail off into the sunset. Or, you have seen the commercial of a couple holding hands walking down the beach together without a care in the world. And, my favorite one is the nest is empty and the couple remodels their home to sit back relax and enjoy the simple life… until the doorbell rings and their daughter has left her husband and moving back in with the grandchildren, (this is my version of a story).  The truth of the matter is, retirement has its own set of challenges and grief. I know there are wonderful stories where people sail around the world, move to exotic places to live happily ever after, or move here with me into a Dell Webb Resort Community to live out their glory years; but some people don’t experience such an easy transition. Today’s blog is to provide some helpful tips that may guide you through the emotional and financial transitions when things don’t go as planned.

 

First, let’s look at the emotional transition of retiring. There are several phases or emotional challenges retirees may encounter during their journey.

The first phase is the honeymoon period. This period is a time when retirees begin feeling a sense of relief, excitement, and look forward to a new chapter in their lives. Some people already have plans in place for what they will do and places they will go. This period may last sometimes up to a year or more.

The second phase is feeling lost. By the end of the first year, people begin to feel lost. The honeymoon period has worn off and they don’t know what to do with themselves. This is a period where depression, isolation, and confusion began to set in. This is when grief comes to help. During this period, turn to the Lord within you to find comfort and grace when you feel all is lost and you don’t know what to do with your life anymore. Also, talk it over with a close friend or spouse for love and support. The feelings you encounter are natural; they are part of the grieving process.

Natural and common feelings of Grief by Kathryn Patricelli, MA – Grieving people may experience the following physical symptoms:

  • Fatigue and exhaustion
  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Disturbed appetite (either more appetite or less appetite than normal)
  • Stomach and/or intestinal problems

Mentally, persons affected by grief may experience:

  • Confusion (memory, concentration, judgment and comprehension difficulties)
  • Intrusion (unwanted thoughts, arousal, nightmares)

Emotionally, persons affected by grief may experience:

  • Shock
  • Fear, anxiety or apprehension
  • Anger, irritability or agitation
  • Guilt
  • Numbness, remoteness, depression

The grief process tends to unfold as a progression of stages which typically take the form of an uncomfortable emotion on the front end, followed by a period of working through, and ultimately a resolution of sorts so that the uncomfortable emotion goes away or becomes less troubling.

Remember, nothing is wrong. It is a normal process of letting go of the past “You” to the “New” chapter of the NEW YOU.

When it comes to retirees, there are a number of significant losses they face:

  • Loss of identity and sense of purpose
  • Changes to their daily routine
  • Decrease in social interaction
  • Less mental stimulus and physical activity
  • Loss of a paycheck

 

We talked about the Stages of Grief in an earlier blog, so I thought it might be helpful to understand how grief is not here to hurt you but to heal you. I read an article in Forbes Magazine that I found helpful. “The whole topic of grief became popular back in 1969 when psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced her ‘five stages of grief.’ What many people don’t realize is that her work was based on studies with the terminally ill, not the general public. However, over time, her stages have become a popular way for people to understand their grief.” For retirees, that may look and sound something like this:

  1. Denial: “I never really wanted to retire… I should still be working.”
  2. Anger: “They made me retire… They wanted me out of there… So-and-so set me up.”
  3. Bargaining: “Maybe if I just _________, I could go back (or move on). Maybe I can call _________ to see if I can get another position with the company. Or maybe I can move to another city to get my old job back.”
  4. Depression: “Who am I kidding, I’m worthless and always was. What was I thinking, I can’t pay my bills now? I don’t have any purpose in life anymore!”
  5. Acceptance: “I felt lost at first, but finally I feel at peace with my new life. I will find NEW things to fill my time. Lord, show me what’s in your heart and agenda for OUR Life!

 

When looking at the emotional impact and the stress that retirement sometimes brings, I also thought about the financial ramifications that will impact a new retiree. Since our retirement in 2015, Tony has done an amazing job guiding us through our retirement challenges. He retired to help me with my brain and emotional issues. He is a Certified Financial Planner™ and has advised clients planning for retirement for over 20 years. His expertise in this area was so helpful during our transition. Another resource that has been a wonderful blessing was a free booklet by Fisher Investments called 99 Tips for Retirement.

 

Retirement, for those who love Jesus, can be a NEW adventure instead of a new journey filled with fear and distress. Take time to talk with our Lord about the next phase of your life together. Every circumstance, we walk through together, because He lives within us. Trust in His guidance and direction for the new plans He has for you and you will discover an old chapter has ended but a NEW Chapter has dawned.

 

The final phase is Embracing. This is the phase when retirees have gone through the turmoil and turbulence of transition and grief; they feel at peace and embrace their new career identity as retired. They have their financial house in order and feel a sense of stability. Some retirees take up new hobbies, and careers, or do things they have longed to do all of their lives. Their focus is allowing the Lord to live through them in the New adventures He has prepared for them. Even though your bodies are changing and slowing down, there’s still time to play, pray, love, and serve your Lord and others in your life until you GO HOME…YEAH!

 

Isaiah 46:4 (Amplified) Even to your old age I am He, And even to your advanced old age I will carry you! I have made you, and I will carry you; Be assured I will carry you and I will save you.

 

 

Prayer:  Thank you, Papa, we go through seasons, transitions, old, and new, but the wonderful thing is, You are going through them with us! You have carried us through years of trials and distress; You have been faithful Lord. Even in our old and feeble years, You will remain FAITHFUL! We are so thankful for being your child and being loved so deeply by You. We are Your Delight and YOU ARE OURS! AMEN

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